Residents Reality

Trend or True Love?

2009-12-13T16:06:00.000-08:00

A typical couple in love and enjoying a laugh. Yet the question still remains; is it love or are we all kidding ourselves?

Image via Flickr.com

YPSILANTI, Mich- How open can one be to love until it takes over your life, or is it out of ones hands? Is it truly as cliché as people say; does love work in mysterious ways?

Our generation has become obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship, and depressed if one has chosen the single life. Our species is obsessed with interaction, especially love, and it seems that unhealthy relationships end up being the most common result.

It seems as if students have lost the focus on their family and their individual future, and feel that the idea of a relationship is their top priority. It is at this time that people seem to be grasping at straws and settling for whatever comes along, even if the person is not a good match.

Nicholas Aretakis came to Eastern Michigan University in November 2009. Aretakis is world-renowned author, and most recently famous for his book, Ditching Mr. Wrong. “It is not about proving that all men are bad. Quite the contrary. It is about helping women hone their mate selection skills and keep poor candidates from dominating their schedules and their lives,” states Aretakis in his book. Aretakis has witnessed over the past few years the dilemma that the female has been facing in trying to find such relationships. Aretakis said recently in his lecture, “ I have become sick of great women picking bad guys because they felt as if they had no other options. Women should not doubt their worth because of the opinions of one man.” Women are clearly feeling pressured to find the right guy, but easily become distressed and stay in unhealthy relationships because of the pressures of society and their biological clocks. Aretakis wrote his book to help all people in relationships, focus on the qualities they need in life, to keep their future in motion, and find a good life partner. Yet, it is not only women who feel this pressure, men too are feeling the pressure to pair off, and feel the effects of the single life.

“Sometimes it seems easier just because you know you have someone there to help at anytime and you always have someone to lean on and it is kind of lonely now but being single I have a lot more time to hang with all of my friends so I guess you could call that an upside if there is one.” Pat Cunningham is a student at Northern Michigan University who recently just got out of a three-year relationship with his high school sweet heart. Cunningham’s ex girlfriend, Ashley, recently dumped him for a boy closer to home, and Cunningham like many others is feeling the effects of being single. In discussion Cunningham has said that the break up has affected him greatly, he has trouble sleeping, cannot focus on school, and whenever his ex wants to talk to him he drops everything, she is still his main priority. It seems as if rather than living life, and looking to the future as his priority, being in a relationship, or the lack there of has become his main priority. “ I have noticed that since I became single lots of people that would not normally have now gotten girlfriends. I feel that most of the time a relationship that starts in high school or early in college will not last, but I am sure there are exceptions,” stated Cunningham.

This seems to be an ongoing question, why do people want a relationship so badly and why must people stay in or choose unhealthy relationships? Such questions were taken to Lisa Lauterbach, a Psychologist at Snow Health Center at Eastern Michigan University. Lauterbach discussed that relationship issues are one of the top reasons students come into their offices. “The problems arise when people have to be in a relationship, so they enter a new one quickly without much consideration for whom they are choosing. Anyone is better than having no one,” states Lauterbach. Many of these cases branch from issues in your childhood with ones parents and the relationships they have. Lauterbach says that people solve this problem by getting into constant relationships or use sex to attempt to fulfill needs for attention, or sometimes by even having a baby to get the love they desire.

Madison Chuhran is another student here at Eastern Michigan University who is learning how to live in the single world after a recent break up. Chuhran is still close with her ex, and plans to remain close friends with him in the months and years to follow. Chuhran was willing to discuss the unrealistic idea that has been put into the heads of many about relationships. Chuhran feels that girls are given impractical ideas about relationships and love. Media portrays, especially for girls, ideas that you need to marry young and have children young. Books that are distributed, Twilight for example, the many Disney princess movies, and the countless “chick flicks” that are released year after year are fueling the fire to rush ones future. It seems as if this media induced idea, has begun to actually affect the mind-set of the young female. When realistically people are having children closer to their thirties and there is no rush to get married. The worst part is that media is feeding these ideas to our youth, and they are buying them. Not only buying them but trying to live this nonrealistic life. Chuhran and countless other students at Eastern Michigan know the idea of Juno Complex (after the movie released in Winter 2007). Recently it has become cool to get pregnant young, and even socially acceptable. Movies and other forms of media are Okaying teen pregnancy and teens are following this new trend.

Chuhran has become victim to the unhealthy obsession of love, but still believes there are two ways to love. There is the healthy way, where communication is key and there is understanding. One where one does not become caught up in ideas of the future, like how your apartment will pan out, and putting ones life and dreams on hold for the sake of the relationship. In retrospect there is the couple that works through the plans together and understand the each other’s future and agree to compromise without giving up all that is you. So while yes for some love becomes an unhealthy addiction, some can make a relationship work in a healthy way. It is finding a match and making sure it is healthy for both parties, and not getting caught up in the media poisoned idea.

“I have found the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with.” Brittany Hnevsa a 20-year-old student at Lansing Community College stated about her three-year boyfriend Matt Pokorny. Hnevsa and Pokorny are some of the brave few who are trying to make a long distance military relationship work, and are ready for that next step in their relationship; marriage. So while much of the youth does jump right into an early marriage without considering the consequences, what about those in a serious relationship. Those who believe like Hnevsa that they have found their true love and that it will all work out no mater what. “ When both people have the same love, strength, faith, and trust in God it helps them get through it so much more, because they know that even though they are alone they are really not alone because God is always there, keeping them strong,” states Hnevsa.

There is the broken lover, those who have learned from love, and those who have found the happy ending. Love is not a game to play, and it should never be underestimated. Media has turned a serious life changing emotion, into a trend to follow and social group to fit into. Sex sells, watch TV, look online, and society is gobbling up this new idea of sex being love. What people need to start looking at is real life, and finding what type of media supports a healthy form of love. In the film Dan in Real Life the protagonist finds that, love is not a feeling it is an ability. Aretakis and Lauterbach both think that love should not be underestimated; it is a serious decision and life commitment and not just a trend. Plus, most trends go out of style; children and your emotional stability are not a trend that is real life. Be open and be realistic and then you will find love, or at least get on the right track to a healthy relationship.

H1N1: College Crisis

2009-11-15T14:41:00.000-08:00

Signs like this are being seen nation wide to alert citizens of where vaccinations are available.

H1N1 vaccination clinic sign in Alberta, Canada, via Flickr.com

YPSILANTI, Mich.- Cough? Sore throat? Temperature over 100?

Do you have Swine Flu? The nation seems to be in an uproar over the current issues with the swine flu, and the lack of vaccinations. People around the United States especially seem to be in a rush to get to wherever the health department feels the shot is most needed, and save them-selves from the influenza. MSNBC stated that case number has met 21,000 as of November 5, 2009 and the death toll is at 87. Such numbers have everyone on edge about the spread of the flu, which is now being accepted as a pandemic. It also seems as if the college campus seems to be the breeding ground for such a deadly virus.

Students seem to be divided on whether or not they should get the vaccination on this campus. Some feel as if there is no doubt in their mind that the vaccine is needed, and others are avoiding it like the plague. Why would someone want to put that virus in their body? Many fear the shot will bring on the actual swine flu rather than preventing it. Which is the case with many people who have received other flu shots in the past. Rather than preventing the flu, the person attains the virus and suffers the consequences.

Many students also think it is pointless for them to receive such a shot, when a lot of the symptoms of swine flu are quite like the common flu. Some students are approaching this flu season like they would any other, and are not afraid of the consequences of getting the flu.

Here at Eastern Michigan University vaccinations have been made available to some of their students. To be able to get the vaccine you must meet the requirements of being a pregnant woman, a caregiver/ or in contact with children under 6 months of age, who cannot receive the nasal spray, or persons 17-64 with underlying medical conditions.

Lauren Nemeth is a customer service representative at Snow Health Center on Eastern Michigan University’s campus. Upon an interview she stated, “ I was surprised by the amount of students that have came into each of our H1N1 Flu Shot Clinics. We have had at least 90 at each clinic.” Nemeth also said that the University asked for around 5000 shots, but have been getting shipments around 200 every few weeks, depending on how the health department views it fit to distribute the shots. The next clinic would be Friday November 13, 2009 from 9- noon, and1:00 – 4 :00. The first session will be giving the shot form and the second will be the nasal spray.

No matter if one decides to get the shot or not the members of Snow Health Center, Eastern Michigan University and the Health Department recommend that people wash/sanitize their hands regularly, and cover their mouth when coughing or sneezing. Eastern Michigan University also has released this information via the Eastern Michigan University website: that EMU has documented 4 cases of H1N1 and 22 probable cases of influenza like symptoms, to be diagnosed or have a probable case one must have a temp over 100, a cough, and sore throat in the absence of another known cause other than influenza.

So as a student the question is: Vaccinated? Or not vaccinated?

A Cup of College

2009-10-28T18:04:00.000-07:00

One large Milky Way drink at the Ugly Mug located on Cross Avenue in Ypsilanti Mich.

YPSILANTI, Mich. - One large Milky Way and a cinnamon roll please.

The strong smell of coffee beans fills ones nose as the beans are ground and steamed to make that perfectly fresh cup of coffee. While the Police play in the background, one gets drawn into the ambiance that is the Ugly Mug. From professors to students and out of town guests enjoy coming to the Ugly Mug, not only for a good cup of coffee but also some solitude. Students come here for a real cup of coffee rather than the over processed and high priced look a like you can get at Starbucks, and it gets one off the hectic campus.

Books like the Bible to the Hardy Boys line the walls in the Ugly Mug. Overstuffed couches with a pile of worn-out UNO cards and rings from coffee stains decorate the main table and many mismatched coffee cups fill this small hangout. Individuals seem to come out of the woodwork here, all of them different sizes, shapes, genders, ethnicities, and ages hang out at the Ugly Mug. Maybe for the delicious fresh pastries, or coffee, or perhaps it’s the warm atmosphere.

Yet the warmth inside also seems to radiate from the inside out. If one is not satisfied with the couches inside, the individual tiled tables, or the bar that looks out over historic Ypsilanti, one could enjoy the outside at any time of the year. The patio is used year round at the Ugly Mug. Surrounded by the garden, one sometimes forgets they are in downtown dirty Ypsilanti. Until the local hippies begin to flood the patio with their Camel cigarettes and black coffee, or the occasional roar of an engine and pounding bass from a passing car sends your cup dancing across the table. So if one needs some peace and quiet the patio may not be for you, but if interaction and conversation is what you look for the patio is your place.

“I love that they have gone smoke free (inside) and redecorated,” said Katie Musick a graduate student at Eastern Michigan University.

The Ugly Mug seems to work to please all customers whether inside or out.

Kaitlyn Vincek a volleyball player and full time student here at Eastern Michigan, says that she comes to the Ugly Mug because of the atmosphere.

“It is unlike any of the other places to study on or near campus, the people are chill and the coffee is good, ” said Vincek.

What more does a future customer need to know about this hole in the wall café? For that simple answer alone one should at least want to give it a try.

If one Googles the Ugly Mug in Ypsilanti they are directed towards yelp.com, which will give directions to the café, and also feedback on the Ugly Mug. Jackie H an Ann Arbor local posted on yelp.com, “The atmosphere is everything I expected a coffee shop to be when I entered college. Comfy couches, people on laptops, board games on hand, extremely random art... Seriously, if you want a vacation from the yuppie coffee shops in Ann Arbor, come to the Ugly Mug.”

Even if you aren’t looking to stay long in the Ugly Mug, you can get your baked good and coffee to go. The Ugly Mug leaves its mark in many ways, maybe in their baked goods, the richness of their espresso, or their personable staff. The only question is what will you order?

Meeting Michael

2009-10-14T17:18:00.000-07:00

Michael Maksymowski a student at Eastern Michigan University and resident in Best Hall who can give an honest look into dorm life. This picture was taken of Michael goofing off with friends in a store while in Stratford Canada.

YPSILANTI, Mich. – Best Hall Front Desk, this is Michael speaking how can I help you?

At Eastern Michigan University the Best Hall front desk is the center of activity on any given night in the residence hall. Between residents coming to get toilet paper, rent a game, or any other item that is offered; the desk is never short for visitors. When nightwatch, the night time security, shows up it seems as if there is a crowd at the desk, and quite often it is to talk to the person working.

Michael Maksymowski is a favorite of the residents and staff in Best Hall. With his small stature, melodic voice, and always smiling face you cannot help but love this office assistant. Residents usually associate Michael with his likeness to Waldo, who he plans to be for Halloween, and the Disney tunes which seem to be blaring out from his computer behind the desk. Because of such qualities company is always present during Maksymowski’s shifts.

Maksymowski was born and raised in Grand Rapids, Mich. and attended Grandville High School. He enjoys a good game of capture the flag, hates only yellow fire hydrants, prides himself on being a bookworm, loves Disney movies, and counts theater as one of his greatest passions. His dream job would be to become a free-lance journalist and theater critic in either New York or Chicago, but that’s ideal.

Maksymowski chose Eastern Michigan because of many different reasons. One being he wanted to get away from Grand Rapids, and not attend Grand Valley State University like all of his friends seemed to be doing. He also heard Eastern had one of the best journalism programs around, other than Michigan State University, New York University and Northwestern University – all of which were out of his price range. Eastern offered Maksymowski a scholarship, which helped in his decision. Of course they would offer the kid a scholarship with his 28 Advance Placement credits he already had achieved in high school.

With such a bright potential one couldn’t help but ask this promising kid what he felt he was getting out of the University and out of living here in the residence hall.

Maksymowski is a resident of the third floor of Best Hall, the loudest floor in Best and he hates it. “ Most of the residents on my floor seem really obnoxious, they are constantly loud, disruptive and immature, " Maksymowski said. "They create chaos at all hours of the night and I want half of them to get kicked out.”

That perhaps may not be the best attitude for a first year citizen in a residence hall.Yet, not all that Maksymowski has to say is bad about college resident life. He enjoys his position working at the Best Hall front desk and the people he has met because of that job, while also being a member of Leadership Advisory Board.

Maksymowski also enjoys the food at the Commons, a dining center much like a cafeteria on campus, but Maksymowski says, “ I don’t trust DC1 for any finer meats…” In spite of the bad that he has faced, Maksymowski is looking for the positive in college life.

This lively individual does at time miss the comfort of home. Maksymowski told of his need for a break from the never-ending bombardment of everything that is college life. “ I don’t have to think about school, except for homework, at home. I can empty my mind in a way”, said Maksymowski. A positive attitude with an honest heart, Maksymowski is sure to bring something unique to Best and Eastern, even if it is just a smile.

College Night

2009-09-30T08:31:00.000-07:00

A video posted on Youtube.com, from the neighboring college town of Ann Arbor.

Showing what the opposite poles of the typical college night.

YPSILANTI, Mich - It’s a Thursday night in a college town.

As I exit my room I can hear the silent thumping of the bass, and the sound of hair dryers humming.

Tonight I am in the building because of work, but being able to sit from the silent observer position makes me take the college life in a new light As I sit at the desk, I see an array of residents exiting and entering the building. Plenty of girls come clunking down the stairs in their tight dresses and stilettos. The guys are wearing their collared shirt, and reek of their sickeningly strong cologne. As they exit and make their way out, I hear the giggling and excited talk for the night to begin.

It seemed to me as if Thursday nights in a college town wee the night for the daring, to step out of their shoes. The same girls caked in makeup with soon to be blistered feet, are the same girls in the library on a Tuesday night. As I sat there passing my time with my fellow Resident Asssistants waiting until the rush came back in as the parties were broken up and clubs shut down. I asked some of the residents who kept passing my way why they are not out.

Bily Simmons a resident of Best Hall stated,

“ I have an 8:00 am class, of course I feel like I should go to meet people, but I also know I have obligations.”

As more residents came in and out I get a lot of the same answers, work or school seemed to be a priority. Of course I did have the huge group who said ,

“Thursday Night is party night and we are going to CLUTCH CARGOS!!”

As they begin to dance and yell, making their way out. I wondered what their priorities were.

Later in the evening I could not help but laugh as the girls came in (shoes off…) hair flat, being held up by the also stumbling exhausted boys. Being an RA I am easily amused that freshmen forget that we were once freshmen too. For some reason many believe that looking at the ground makes it less obvious to RA’s that they have been drinking all night. That the smell of pot isn’t that obvious, that perhaps maybe it is even a new cologne.

I feel as if this is a required step of college. I remember sneaking back in to my residence hall thinking I was a little rebel, because I had gone to a college party. I remember the exact feeling of coming in through night watch, and back into my building. Feeling a sense of accomplishment as I met my door and turned the lock, loving being an “adult”.

Yet as my shift ended and I sat outside on the cold cement bench, I began to attract company from the night life stragglers. They came and took a seat near me smoking their cherry Black and Milds. Telling me of the up’s and down’s of their night.

As the scream of police sirens filled the air, and the boys take another drag, I was content as a college student enjoying her night in. In that moment I am just another student, not an RA. They can tell me about everything that they have done tonight, without an ounce of hesitation. It is then I realized no matter where you spent your night, its just another night in the college town.

About Me.

2009-09-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

YPSILANTI, Mich - In the Residence Hall...

...and it is quiet, kind of.

I am Amanda Wetzel, but I am also daughter, sister, student, aunt, friend, hopefully a future journalist, employee, and Resident Assistant. Being a Resident Assistant takes up a lot of time, energy, and lately my mind. Being an RA is a full time job, I live where I work and what goes on here becomes my life. Because of my new life I have learned that with such a silence comes drama and conflict. I am surrounded constantly by the resident's turmoil, the demands of my bosses, the sarcasm of my co-workers, and the weight of my life. Living this life it made it easy to decide what to make my blog on, a Residents Reality.

I want to be able to write about what troubles of the average college student, and the lives they live. Everything a student faces from going to a college party, to roommate conflicts, finding a job, and if college really is the place for them. This is one of the most confusing times for kids, and the story should be told by someone who can really tell it as it is. I believe writing from real ife and telling someone’s story, is the best way to write. Real life effects everyone, no matter where, when, or who, somewhere someone understands. I want to learn from this experience and be an example for those who read, to better show the resident hall reality.